<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Realization of a closeted lesbian by BoredFanEliza</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24901024">Realization of a closeted lesbian</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoredFanEliza/pseuds/BoredFanEliza'>BoredFanEliza</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Helltaker (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Acceptance, Character Study, Coming Out, Domestic Fluff, Gen, Helltaker is a good father figure, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Character, Self-Doubt, guys did i made lesbians proud???, i mean i want to explore azazel's character and her coming to terms of sexuality, it kinda is???</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:35:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,355</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24901024</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoredFanEliza/pseuds/BoredFanEliza</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Curiosity can find the answer to any question; however, the truth of realization can hurt you.</p>
<p>In Azazel's case, she realizes she likes girls (especially demon ones) so much. There's no point turning back now.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>The Helltaker &amp; Azazel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>183</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Realization of a closeted lesbian</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Btw guys, this is just made for fun. </p>
<p>As soon I saw Azazel being implied as lesbian (or bisexual), I knew I had to write it at 3 am in the morning lol.</p>
<p>Hope you enjoy! :D</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Azazel can’t sleep, and not because of those sinful thoughts she has. Instead, she can’t stop thinking about that day when she discovered where she saw Justice’s pride flag. It’s adorned in red, purple, and blue colors.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Azazel asks the coolest demon about the flag. Perhaps another country? However, her theory debunked when Justice’s response is that it’s a bisexual flag. Being the curious angel she ever was, she questioned what it meant.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Justice’s explanation is simple with the help of the internet. Apparently, bisexuality is another sexuality created by humans. It means that someone is attracted to two or more genders aka being into a man and a woman. Then Azazel can’t help but ask if there were more sexualities. Same-sex relationships weren’t allowed in heaven. But her curiosity is growing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Azazel learned about the gay flag is mostly used by men. The distinction between bisexual and pansexual. She was confused about asexual and aromantic, but she’s able to understand since heaven doesn’t want any sexual or romantic relationships. Prefers to focus on professional work.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then the lesbian flag. There’s a feeling. It’s not the perverted, corrupted feeling, mo, it’s a warm feeling. A sense of belonging. Something that is right. The pink, orange and white colors would fit her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She finally found what was going on with her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something is wrong with the realization.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Azazel tossed and turned in her bed. Her hands were on her face, trying to cover her shameful red face. She’s been told for the past decade that she shouldn’t fall in love with anyone, even someone who’s the same-sex as her. When she does, she’ll deeply be punished as to teach her a lesson then banishing her away. To remind her of her disgusting sins.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ever since she joined the harem created by Helltaker. Azazel already knew that she sinned so bad even not noticing herself. Yet heaven hasn’t found out about this situation and won’t believe her thesis that she wrote while living here.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s getting hot here.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe she should get a glass of water to calm her down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yeah.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Azazel tossed her blanket off and got up to get out of her bed. She opened the door a bit slowly with a few pauses because she doesn’t want to wake up the other demons and Helltaker. Azazel will ask him about the door in the morning.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She tiptoes through the hallway, trying to not make a sound. A faint muffled sound is coming from Malina’s door. She must be playing those turn-based strategy games. It surprises Azazel that she can sleep through the sour demon’s loud cursing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then Azazel tries to tiptoe down the stairs, but whenever there is a slight creek. She cringes and almost swore God’s name under her breath. Thank God and heaven, Azazel, trying to be the quiet angel, is down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The entire room is black; however, the moonlight is shining over the pentagram rug from the windows. The clock is ticking. Azazel walked a little closer to where the clock was ticking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s 2 o’clock am. She’ll be a little late to the chaotic morning breakfast, but Helltaker will save her a bite, perhaps. Hope it is banana pancakes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She walked away and headed towards the kitchen. Before she does, Azazel takes a glance at the bookshelves. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Modeus has been somewhat helpful to the angel’s curiosity. Despite being the demon of lust, she reads a lot of romance books. They read books together sometimes, and Azazel learns about humans’ affection towards others. A genre that she and Modeus introduced was forbidden love. They relate to the two main characters of the story, not allowed to fall in love with whom is your enemy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even if the enemy is innocent.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Azazel turned on the kitchen light. She went towards the counter where a few empty mugs were drying. She grabbed her favorite mug, which has a cute halo motif covered, and poured herself a glass of water.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well, not a glass of water and more like a mug of water. Mugs are made of glass, so it technically counts. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sighed and shook her head, then she took a sip. The cold water calms her nerves down just a little. The red, sweating of her face had cooled down, and she wiped away the remaining sweat on her forehead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The kitchen is quiet, yet her thoughts are loud. Reminding her she is an angel, only loyal to God. She will not wear those jackets with black and red patterns on it. Being a lesbian is sin, so there’s no way she’s a lesbian. Azazel is not attracted to those cute girls wearing cute dresses or handsome suits. Not distracted by their huge personality and bouncing-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Azazel?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The angel almost dropped her mug by the deep voice. It’s Helltaker. Wearing his usual pajamas and his shades. All the demons and Azazel included don’t know why he still wears shades. Justice speculates that he has laser eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you doing in the kitchen?” Helltaker questioned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh! Um, I-I’m just getting uh some water.” She answered with a nervous laugh. “I’ll go back to my room, I’ll see you in the morning.” Azazel tries to pass through Helltaker, but he’s so huge compared to her. He stops her by gently grabbing her shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is everything okay?” His voice is gentle despite sounding so rough.  “You can tell me if you want to.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Azazel looked in her mug of water, and her frown wobbles in the moving water. She can’t lie, well, she kinda did when she found out. Still, she knows she can’t lie to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-I um, can I tell you something?” Not even looking at his face, she can sense that he’s nodding. “I- I’m a lesbiab. Lesbiem. Less bien.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay, take your time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Girls.” She finally let go of the breath she’s been holding. “I like girls. I like, like girls. I want to do those human affection activities with them. Hugging, h-holding their hands, and even I want k-kiss them.” Her face has become more flushed. Azazel takes a drink of her water to cool her off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The burden is lifted off her shoulder, and it’s filled by fear. She fears what Helltaker will do to her. Kick her out and go back to heaven? Even if she goes back to heaven, she’ll be exiled and go to hell, then get kicked out of hell. How will she survive in the mortal realm? She has to hide and-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Azazel’s intrusive thoughts are interrupted by a pat on her head. She looks up with slight tears in her eyes. Helltaker’s expression remains stoic, but somehow she can feel the humane care in him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m glad you came out,” Helltaker said. “There’s nothing wrong with liking girls, even demon ones. Justice also liked girls. You’re not alone Azazel, we’re here to support you no matter.” He stroked her hair like a caring father. “It’s okay that you don’t have to come out to everyone right away.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She smiled with her tears coming out. No, it’s the tears of sadness. It’s joy. She tries to wipe away her tears, but to no avail. Helltaker moves closer and gives her a somewhat of a hug. The only thing stopping him from fully hugging her is the mug.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Is this what being accepted is like? She felt warmth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A cough made both of them stop hugging. “What the fuck is going on here? Why are you two up so late?” Malina crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at them. The glare turns into a stare and raised eyebrows. “Whoa, hey, are you okay?” She pointed out on Azazel’s face, almost covered in tears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes.” She sniffed and wiped the last few of her tears. “More than okay.” A slight smile appears, then she turns into Helltaker and mouthed ‘thank you’. Helltaker nodded and let her pass by.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Azazel passed the sour demon and walked up towards the stairs. She wonders what will happen from now on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For now, she has to enjoy it while it lasts. She accepted who she is.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>